I have this interaction with a client almost daily:
“Aaron…I had a bad day…”
“Oh no! What happened??”
“Well, it was my birthday…”
“My family got me a cake! We had a party, and I had a piece of cake! I SUCK HARD!”
“Oh NO Harry! You mean to tell me you had FUN??? DROP AND GIVE ME 20!!” ß Not what I would say.
Look man, nobody’s perfect.
Sometimes, when you’re working on a project such as losing weight, you’ll have a day where you don’t do everything right. Maybe it’s your birthday and you decided to have a cookie or two. Maybe you went hog wild on hot wings during the super bowl. Maybe your distant cousins showed up and insisted on taking you to Fuddruckers.
“Harry”’s example is super common.
It’s great to hold yourself accountable – if you don’t do that, you’re not likely to get anywhere.
But it hurts you to call it a bad day. And it’s also kind of odd.
That’s not a bad day! That’s a nice day! Happy birthday, Harry! 😊
Calling it a bad day minimizes the joy of whatever occasion it is and makes you feel bad about yourself.
Instead, it’s wise to talk more frankly, and with less guilt. “Yesterday was my birthday, so I had some cake.”
Even if you go completely off the rails of whatever plan you’re working, you can transform how you think of it with how you talk about it. Maybe you went to a weekend conference and couldn’t help but nom every single donut, pinwheel, finger sandwich, and latte drink you came across. Maybe for the duration of the weekend you just abandoned your plan altogether.
That’s still not a bad weekend. Just acknowledge that this weekend was off plan and make a plan for getting back on track. Easy peasy!
This “bad day” phenomenon is really just one small example of a larger concept, and that’s that what you say matters. What you say about yourself, your goals, your relationship, your job – all of it. In large part, you’re creating the world you live in, and how you talk is a big part of that. What you say not only reflects your down deep inner self, it also influences it. Continually call yourself dumb, your subconscious begins to believe it – and you start to do dumb things!
Continually empower yourself on the other hand….I’m sure you get the picture.
In Harry’s example, I just say “Happy birthday, Harry! So you had piece of cake – excellent. Were you able to be reasonable about it?” – Most of the time the answer is yes. So we re-arrange the way we talk about that day so that it’s a win. I was able to have cake and not go crazy!
So, if you’re working some diet plan, fitness challenge, or other goal and you have a day where you’re not quite on the ball – try talking about that day in a different way than saying it was a bad day – especially if it was your birthday! 😊
You may be surprised at the results!